Yesterday, FBI Director James Comey told Congress under oath that the FBI is investigation possible collusion between the Donald Trump campaign and Russia. That’s a stunning fact as well as a noteworthy departure from the FBI’s normally close-mouthed ways, both delivered by a man who is, by the way, 6’8″ tall.
Here are some pictures of James Comey next to some people, some of whom you have seen before.
It is no surprise that James Comey towers over President Donald Trump, because Donald Trump is a 6’2″ man-baby and James Comey is 6 feet, 8 inches tall, which is so goddamn tall.
Six-foot-one Barack Obama sometimes looks suspiciously like he’s as tall as the allegedly 6’2″ Donald Trump, but he never looks as tall as James Comey, because James Comey is 6’8″.
Abraham Lincoln (6’4″) was the tallest man ever to serve as president, but this would not be true if we elected James Comey to the office, because James Comey is 6’8″.
Here is a picture of a man who is not James Comey, but is a noted athlete who is the exact same height as James Comey, which is 6’8″:
Speaking of basketball players, the average NBA player is 6’6″, and would have to look up at James Comey because James Comey is 6’8″.
Yesterday’s news marked the second time that James Comey has ruined a 2016 presidential candidate’s whole month. Late in the election cycle, he announced new evidence in the investigation of Hillary Clinton’s email scandal. That arguably helped turn late-deciding voters against Hillary Clinton, who stands a pathetic 5’4″ and doesn’t even belong in this conversation.